Patience part 2

Lately I have been incredibly impatient. You see . . . I have a mission trip I applied for a while ago. I have been approved for the organization. In fact, I was approved about a month ago. The only problem is I do not know where I will be placed. I really want to go to Africa, but I do not know if that is what God wants me to do. As I sit here waiting for the email telling me where to go for my summer, I am so crazy obsessed with the mission trip though that I have forgotten to trust God. I have forgotten why I want to go on the mission trip in the first place. I have forgotten why God has placed me on this earth. I have forgotten how amazing He is and how He must be FEARED! I recently heard God's voice in the weirdest way: He told me to text my boyfriend and ask him if he feared God and what fearing God means to him. He answered that we have such a high respect for God that He is the Lord of our lives. And I completely agreed! but i was SO not ready for his next response. He asked, "What about you?" 

WHAT?! How dare he ask that! I asked him first . . . I mean he answered but . . . I mean . . . Well . . . Uh . . . Hmm. These were the exact thoughts that ran through my head. 

I realized the reason God told me to ask him that question is because I needed to be asked if I feared God. I know that I used to fear God in a huge way, but in all the craziness of life and opportunities I have forgotten what it meant to fear God. I forgot to make Him the Lord of my life because of how crazy my life was. So even though I still have no idea where I will be going this summer and I am freaking out because of it, I almost hope I don't learn where I am going for a week or so because I am learning so much out of the impatience. I am casting my cares apron Him, for He cares for me. 

In the same conversation with my boyfriend about fearing God, I also asked him what being a missionary meant to him. When I got his response, my heart nearly broke. I have not only forgotten to fear God, but I have also forgotten how much I care about telling people about the one true God who loves them without borders. I had forgotten how important it is for me to share with not only Africans or foreigners about Jesus, but the people around me to. I forgot the urgency I need to have in my life to tell people the good news. In all this impatience, God is regrowing fruit in my life that i lost for a while. I will leave with this: If you are reading this, know that 1. These are my deepest thoughts and they may not make sense, but I needed to get them out on paper and 2. Never forget how important it is to tell people about Jesus. Even if it is awkward, don't be afraid because you never know when someone is going to die. I try to never use the heaven and hell card, but remember that heaven and hell ARE very real. The devil walks about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. DON'T let the devoured be someone you come into contact with. I am not saying shove the Gospel down their throats, because then they would never come to Christ, but never pass up an opportunity to love someone and maybe asking them a question about their walk with Christ. It is so incredibly urgent that we all do this. It is not only a command from the Bible as believers to share God's word, but its each of our callings. It is why we are still here on earth after coming to Christ. Don't keep this HOPE to yourself, Christians!! It is SO worth sharing! 

Thanks for reading! 

For His Glory, 

Alex